I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
