If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
