You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
