you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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