You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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