Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
