They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
