I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
