I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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