Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you had me at cake vodka
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
