In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
