But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
