i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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