Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
