i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
