he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
