I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
