i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
