I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
