Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
