i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's blow job season.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
