hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
