I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
