its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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