we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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