Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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