WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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