Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
