Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
