so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
