let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Randomize
