Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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