If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
