Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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