Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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