it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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