I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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