I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
