I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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