just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My dick has a subreddit
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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