Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
