thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
