We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
