Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize