i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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