I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
