home. puking in laundry basket.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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