I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
God I need to hump something, right now.
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