It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i think my cat just said my name.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
