i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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